My Game of Thrones Season 3 Premiere

On March 19, 2013, I had been up for excess of twenty-four hours. On my way back from work (Batmanning around town) in the two hour reprieve that I'd gotten, I found out that at that moment the premiere of season 3 of Game of Thrones was taking place. I did what every sleep-deprived rational adult on his way back from work in the back seat of a rickshaw at 7 am in the morning does, I ripped off Community's Abed from three episodes back and had my own Game of Thrones premiere. Right inside my head. It's what anyone would do, right?

Here is the harrowing account of that premiere, all storified for you:

Successfully pulled an all-nighter at the office and unfairly bitched at only one person on Twitter. #GoodDay #OrNight
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

I'm also at the Game Of Thrones premiere. With @faheem_memon and @adeleiqbal. I'll be the guy sneaking in random "CM PUNK! CM PUNK!' chants.
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

r u also at the #got premiere @aamirliaquat? DM me,
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

"My Fake Trip To The #GOT Premiere is recorded in front of a live studio audience inside of my head..."
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Peter Dinklage is here too. He looks phenominal! #FakeGOTPremiere twitter.com/TheUmarAhmed/s…
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

dont c u anywhere @aamirliaquat bro. DM plx #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Just received the passes. They're saying these passes serve two purposes. Wonder what the other is. #FakeGOTPremiere twitter.com/EricIGN/status…
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Oh now I get it. Just turned the pass over and saw this. p.twimg.com/A3DVBE5CcAA4Q5… #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Trying to spot Emilia Clarke is definitely a difficult task, what with her wearing clothes and all.
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Just talked to Sean Bean about his excitement over everything. He said this'll be the biggest Wrestlemania of all and he's pulling for Punk.
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Was very starstruck by the guy who played Bush' head but he's nice. Fun Fact: He played the same character on X-Files once. #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Now being ushered inside the theatre. Very dark. Almost stepped on Dinklage. He said something but his voice didn't carry all the way up.
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Can't believe the dragons are getting their own front row seats while Hound is kept in the back. That's animal racism, yo! #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Sean Bean keeps getting up b/w scenes saying, "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't killed me off.". Very distracting. #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Usher told me I need to stop chanting "CM Punk". I told him I was chanting GOT. He bought it. Clearly a Dothraki, that one. #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

They're now taking a visibly drunk Sean Bean outside. He keeps mumbling something about his son being king of the north. #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

@theumarahmed Not a single tweet about Cersei. Damn you!! TELL ME WHAT SHE'S DOING RIGHT NOW!
— Faheem Memon (@faheem_memon) March 19, 2013

@faheem_memon Tons of fans like yourself were disappointed tonight upon learning that Cercei is actually a CGI. #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Just spotted @aamirliaquat sitting in the seat between Sophie Turner and Maisie Williams. Disturbing. #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Jack Gleeson is as much of a tool as I remember him from #FakeBatmanBeginsPremiere. His crown is blocking my view. #FakeGOTPremiere
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Manager just asked me to stop badmouthing the premiere on Twitter. Told him the "Power is power" line is stolen from a Salman Khan movie
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Fell asleep during the 5th Littlefinger monologue about something and have now woken up to empty theatre and Conleth Hill watching me sleep.
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Finally made it to the after-party after driving around for an hour. Nobody's here yet exceot for the faceless ninja guy. Uh-oh. Get me ou..
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

*Closing credits play highlighting the different sections of my brain, GOT style, including the "makes up BS when sleep-deprived" section.*
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Alternate Ending: Finding the main doors to the after-party locked, I have climbed a pipe to the top floor window. Wait, I see two people...
— Umar Ahmed (@TheUmarAhmed) March 19, 2013

Umar Ahmed is one of the finest presences on the entire twit-verse. And when we say twit-verse, we don't mean people on Twitter, we mean people who're twits.